Monday, March 12

Online Friends

On Sun, Mar 11, 2012 at 5:20 PM, Amir H. Shahheidari <> wrote:

Welcome, friend! http://[linkexcised]

To: Amir H. Shahheidari <>
Sent: Sunday, March 11, 2012 5:45 PM
Subject: Re:

Fuck off, friend!

Amir H. Shahheidari ?
9:22 PM (20 hours ago)
to me

My apologies, It seems that my account was hacked and that is why you are got an email spam from me...

"Don't Trash It, GoGreenBarter It!"

Friday, March 9

Love knocks at the door of my heart, but whence such love?


Seeking my Soulmate. Why not try?
Ekaterina ?
4:07 AM (56 minutes ago)to bobs95wing

Good day!  Ekaterina.
I have pictures and I will send if you want, but I don't want to expose on a general review. I will show them if I pique your interest In a partner I am looking for someone who enjoys the simple things in life like, walks in the park holding hands, someone I can cook a meal for who will genuinely enjoy it, even if it is something just thrown together. Someone who enjoys watching the sunset, and someone who does not think it is stupid to just sit around and talk about our lives, hopes, dreams and ambitions. Someone who thinks a night snuggling on the couch watching a movie together is a great time.

I feel that the simple things in life are truly priceless.
Im a very simple woman to please with a very big heart, honest, intelligent and polite, have a good sense of humor, open minded, and compassionate. I can honestly say that I am always striving to improve on myself. I am looking for the right soul mate for me.
At first just a friendship, then we'll see where this goes, perhaps something serious. I patiently await your reply, and wish you nothing but happiness. Please take good care of yourself.
Thanks Ekaterina.

Imperial Hails, Ekaterina!

Very lovely name :)

I would love for you to send picture that you have as I -do- want (yeah, I can relate to not preferring an exposE all over a general review, those committees can be pitiless). I think we've already established that you've piqued my interest in a partner, etc., so please do send them though I'm not sure where your sentiments end and where they begin at this point but periods, etc., are boring and usually indicate a brainiac type of lady not the kind I am looking for in a partner know what I mean LOL.

I also enjoy the simple things in life, like walks on the beach holding potted ferns and singing Bing Crosby tunes (dreamboat!). I love a lady who can cook a meal for me, but that is modest enough not to expect me to enjoy it and self-deprecating enough to say it's just "thrown together" when she in fact slaved all afternoon over it while I ostensibly worked at the factory but really was at the male erotic peepshow downtown. There's nothing that bugs me more than an uppity gal who cooks my dinner and then expects a compliment from me! As for genuinely enjoying it, I must say that I'm not very good at hiding my feelings, so don't take it amiss if I tell you "it's great!" with a sour expression on my pale, sweaty face.

I also enjoy snuggling on sunsets and watching couches rise over the horizon, or discussing films about people who enjoy the simple things in life, talking about my ambitions and hopes and dreams. I personally always wanted to be a painter in Vienna, but was frustrated by Jews (you know? LOL) and now am volunteering with the Republican party of this US State we are living in together (hopefully???). I used to think that the simple things in life were priceless, but then I searched for that phrase on eBay, and discovered it's being bid on for about 23.50 of whatever currency we use in this country we both live in.

You sound like a sweetheart! I like a simple girl who is not put off by my "boring" and "lazy" and occasionally "brutal" behavior. These are all just terms that our enemies like to use to vilify us, you know? LOL. I'm not very good in the sack either, so I like a girl to have a relationship with together with with because are simple and won't cry when I ejaculate in 3 seconds. LOL. I cannot honestly say that I am trying to improve on myself, but I can say that I am trying to improve on myself.

Hmm. You want to find the right soul mate? I can relate to that, LOL. It's like finding the right Excalibur being held aloft by the white arm of the "right" Lady of the Lake - you've got to try 'em all and see which one is best, like a pair of shoes. Maybe what you're looking for is the right "sole" mate. There are too many soul mates out there, but maybe you're the right one for me too! :)

Maybe, if our friendship blossoms as promisingly as this dialogue indicates (I hope those general review people aren't monitoring this!), we can just skip straight to the acrimonious divorce and alimony payments for the children you already have in your country which is identical to the one in which we both live, as of now, in this time? A humble proposition from a salivating suitor.

I am not a patient man, so I expect an immediate reply from you. This will set the tone for our whole future together, so do not keep me waiting. I'm serious. This is a warning. I do not like women who keep me waiting. Why so stingy with your wishes? JUST happiness? What about all the other things that go with a promising relationship like ours, like bitterness and the fact that you're a Nigerian with an old 386 IBM? Just kidding, LOL.

Please, you take good care of yourself as well, as I don't want damaged goods. You hear me woman? And who the hell is Gladys? She your sister? Menage a trois? LOL. Just kidding. I'm a funny guy for a possibility husband?